Bad Things Happen In Three’s

It’s a phrase pretty much everyone in the English-speaking world knows. And, maybe in other languages. I’m not sure about that, but I am sure it’s a real thing. I just had #2, so I’m a constant panicked mess waiting for #3. On April 1, 2018 (Easter Sunday this year), I got the absolutely devastating news that my very first…

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Giving In & Having Patience

Most of us in chronic pain either have a ton of it or have none of it. There’s no in-between. Today I’ve run both sides of that spectrum. So, I watched one of the nicest ladies ever get attacked in a SUPPORT GROUP for giving her opinion and advice. And the irony of it was not only “your ignorant for…

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Tired

Actually, I don’t think that single word describes it. It’s more like…. That sounds about right. I’m not just physically tired. I’m emotionally, mentally, and spiritually tired. God has always been a great comfort, and church calmed me. But lately, I’m in so much pain that I can’t even handle going to church. Getting there isn’t the problem–it’s the noise.…

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Changes

Sometimes they’re good changes, and sometimes they’re not so good. Usually, when you’re in chronic pain, when things change, you can feel a tight grip of panic. Am I getting worse? Is this a sign it’s getting better? Have I evolved into something different? And it’s a really weird rollercoaster of emotion until that next doctor’s appointment when we can either…

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You Can’t Draw From An Empty Well

This is a saying I’ve heard so many times over the years. Essentially, if you keep giving all you have to other people, you won’t have enough for yourself because your well will be empty. So it’s important that we take care of ourselves first and foremost. In any situation. Not just if you’re a chronic pain person, like me.…

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We All Have That One

No, not the “one that got away,” or anything like that. We all have that one doctor who saved our lives, one way or the other. Ok, so maybe not all of us, but all of us with chronic pain do. And, if you’re reading this and you haven’t found that doctor yet–don’t give up. It happens, I promise. It took…

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It All Needs To Stop

Before you freak out, this is not a suicide post, because that’s something that won’t happen. But this post is about so many things that need to stop, and strap in because it’ll be a doozy. So far, in my nightmare of pain, my mom has been my champion, especially when it came to doctors. I was young and didn’t really…

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Before You Judge…

I used to hear the phrase “walk a mile in their shoes before you judge” fairly frequently. When I was younger, I thought I was superior and I judged people who weren’t like me–they didn’t speak as well as me, they weren’t as driven as me, they were weak, they had a “problem” with alcohol/drugs/etc., they weren’t as lucky as…

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I Don’t Have A Pain Management Problem…

I have a pain problem. Dr. House is my spirit animal. I always said my issues should be an episode of House, because at the end of it, he will have run 25 pointless tests and I’ll either be cured–yay!–or I’ll be dead and either way I won’t care because I won’t be in pain. But part of what I’ve had…

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New Developments Aren’t Always Good

When all of this was just starting, any new development was a good thing. It could potentially help the doctors figure out what was wrong based on what happened next. But as I’ve aged, I stopped paying close attention. I had figured out that it doesn’t always mean getting closer to an answer. Sometimes, it’s just a fluke or it’s…

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